What a crack-up: The election is mere weeks away, and I want to go on record that I support most forms of political expression. Hang signs, hold demonstrations, call your congressman, write a letter to the editor.
But, for goodness' sake, please don't wear a thong.
Politically themed clothing is risky at best. Most are slogan T's made by the same companies that are pumping out cheap cotton shirts saying "Beer on Board" and "You Know You're a Stoner If ..."
And venturing beyond a T-shirt that says "Let's Vote" or even "Stop Mad Cowboy Disease" or "Kerry for President of France" to the murkier underworld of underwear is inexcusable.
The amount of exposure necessary for the world to see white cotton unmentionables bearing a Democrat donkey or a crossed-out picture of Saddam Hussein is simply indecent.
That's why I'm asking U.S. residents to keep the political process where it belongs but sadly seldom is -- above the belt. Way above the belt.
That said, if, like me, you allow celebrities to dictate everything from what brand of makeup to buy to what purse to carry your miniature dog in, take heart.
Those darling little "Vote or Die" shirts worn by P. Diddy at the MTV Music Awards allow one to bare one's political soul without letting it all hang out.
So forget everything that Watergate and subsequent political scandals have taught you. Sometimes, in our ever-trashier modern world, what politics most desperately needs is a cover-up.
-- Elyssa Andrus
This story appeared in The Daily Herald on Sept. 22, 2004, on page B1.
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