America's Next Top Mother

Heaven knows, there are plenty of nipped and tucked models on the catwalk, but I don't think I've ever heard of a fashion show dedicated to plastic surgery itself. Still, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Dressed in designer duds, several patients of New York-area plastic surgeons took to the runway to showcase their new breasts, noses and tummies. The cosmetic-surgery fashion show debuted at the Carlyle on the Green manor in Farmingdale, N.Y., last Thursday. Much like well-enhanced country singer Dolly Parton, I have never embraced the idea of natural beauty. I love highlights, concealer, spray tans. I'd wear fake eyelashes to bed if I thought my husband would believe it. When I was 12, I slept in sponge curlers at my church's girls' camp, so I could, I guess, have my hair in ringlets as I hiked in the mountains and cooked over an open fire. It made sleeping in a tent that much more uncomfortable, but somehow I managed it. (Pretty much everyone at the camp rolled their eyes at me, even the leaders.) But until recently, I've never been comfortable with the idea of plastic surgery. Seems painful -- I'm a wimp -- and very permanent.
Still, after having children, you only have to stare at your stomach for about two seconds to see why tummy tucks are such a popular surgery. They are among the top five cosmetic surgical procedures performed by plastic surgeons in 2007 (along with liposuction, breast augmentation, rhinoplasty and eyelid surgery). And the number of tummies tucked has risen 137 percent since 2000, according to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons. Call me Humpty Dumpty: After having two boys in two and a half years, I sometimes just want to be put back together again.
But if I do some day go for an extreme makeover, you certainly won't see me strutting my new stuff down the catwalk. I've learned a thing or two since girls' camp. Sometimes your beauty secrets are best kept ... secret.
-- Elyssa Andrus
This article appeared in The Daily Herald on June 18, 2008. See http://www.heraldextra.com/content/view/270422/149/