'Queer Eye' for women everywhere: I'm not sure what target demographic Bravo execs were seeking when they launched "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy," but I can tell you who the show's biggest fans are: Straight, suburban, married women.
True, my husband has yet to refer to his back hair as a guardian angel (as one recent "Queer Eye" project did), and he doesn't need to be manscaped (a "QE" term for shaping body hair in the manner of bonsai trees or similar). But every time I look at his ratty Birkenstocks and collection of braided belts and muscle shirts, I dream about the day Carson Kressley will introduce him to the world of sleeves and closed-toed shoes.
As with many women in the suburbs, my obsession with winning the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes has given way to a new fantasy -- that "Queer Eye" will realize the untapped gold mine of fashion and design emergencies lurking in Middle America.
Then, they could tartly suggest that perhaps a leopard-print beanbag and an enlarged, framed picture of Kujo the Killer Attack Dog aren't items to build a room around, or emphasize that a wet bathing suit and Van Halen T-shirt aren't proper attire for dropping by my office.
Of course, after said husband had been properly dressed, groomed, cultured and certified as nose-hair free, we would go on a fabulous date -- one that didn't involve Slurpees, target shooting or snowmobiling.
Then, over trendy cocktails, the Fab Five would dissect our date while remarking how confident, adorable and well-dressed I am. Sure, I'll know it's scripted, that they say that every time, that it's as boilerplate as the obligatory shots of Kyan's biceps.
But I'll also remember that they convinced my husband to give socks a chance. And a part of me will believe it's true.
This article appeared in the Daily Herald on February 11, 2004 on B1.
http://www.heraldextra.com/content/view/102403/149/
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