Thursday, June 19, 2008

I'll Pass on the Living Scripture Collection

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas: I'm all for jump starting the season, but it seems like retailers had barely finished putting out their witch hats and pumpkin candles this year before promptly replacing them with candy canes and snowmen.
Which is fine, really. I'll happily listen to the carols that KOSY 106.5 is playing 'round the clock, never mind that Thanksgiving is still more than a week away, never mind that they are incessantly plugging the upcoming Neil Diamond concert.
And I'm delighted that grocery stores are already carrying peppermint ice cream and stocking marshmallow cream for Christmas fudge. How else am I going to gain that extra holiday weight?
The one unpleasant part of the early seasonal rush is that both the Provo Towne Centre and Orem's University Mall have suddenly transformed into the shopping equivalent of the streets of Tijuana, Mexico. In that border town, hustling is an art form, and most tourists happily go there to barter with the stunningly aggressive salesmen. It's expected there, and it's part of the fun.
What I don't want is to be chased down by someone selling tank tops, cell phones, fake hair or magic hand cream at a cart in a local mall.
Particularly annoying was a certain young man selling animated scripture videos last week. I passed him four times in the course of my hourlong shopping trip. The first three times I politely said "No, thank you," when he tried to convince me to stop and look at his product.
I was puzzled that he kept approaching me time after time. I may not be that memorable myself, but I have a hard time believing that he couldn't remember the spitting, gurgling baby I had with me.
On the fourth time, feeling like a smart aleck, I said, "Still not interested."
Big mistake.
Huge.
He was simply encouraged by the new response, and followed me several feet until I fled into a nearby store, wishing with all my might the Christmas shopping season could be postponed until after Thanksgiving.
Feliz Navidad, indeed.
-- Elyssa Andrus
This story appeared in The Daily Herald on page B1 on November 16, 2005.

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