Thursday, June 12, 2008

Bin Laden, Breath Mints and Coke

Bin Laden, to boot: I haven't actively been looking for al Qaida's top leader, but a sign at a local car wash suggests he might be a bit closer than the caves of Afghanistan. The marquee at the Clean Get Away Car Wash in Provo says that if you are looking for Bin Laden, you should vacuum your trunk.
Really, it's that simple.
Next on the list of things to do: Locate weapons of mass destruction in the glove compartment.
Take two of these and call me in the morning: We receive a seemingly endless barrage of press kits and promotional products from companies hoping we'll mention their products in the paper. Some of the stuff is fun (catalogues of pretty shoes) and some is funny (the cow bell Disney sent to promote its animated feature "Home on the Range.")
I couldn't help but take it personally, however, when breath mints and pills for relieving flatulence crossed my desk in the same week.
I wonder if those companies are trying to tell me something.
And lastly, a word of wisdom: The debate about whether members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are permitted to drink caffeine isn't likely to be resolved any time soon. But one thing is for sure, there is Coke in the church's Salt Lake headquarters. Ironically, one unfailingly polite church spokesperson actually shares the same name as the bubbly brew -- a Mr. Coke Newell.
But maybe he's the caffeine-free kind.
-- Elyssa Andrus
This article originally appeared in the Daily Herald on March 17, 2004.
http://www.heraldextra.com/content/view/117378/149/

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