Thursday, June 19, 2008

Me and Britney Mama

Oh, baby!: I know this is a bit pathetic, but I've always felt a special connection with Britney Spears. Sure, she prances around holding snakes and wears teeny-tiny shirts for a living, while I sit at a desk fully clothed and edit stories all day. She goes barefoot in public restrooms; I won't set foot (literally) in a Chevron station without a pair of shoes.
Oh, and she can sing, and I can't.
But last week the pop star confirmed my deepest suspicions: We have a few things in common. She's expecting her first child, and so am I.
Granted, Mrs. Federline's pregnancy will probably be marked by $150 7 for all Mankind maternity jeans, a full-time dietitian and an on-staff fetus psychic who can predict both the baby's moods and future.
She'll probably name her child Peach or Gunner.
On the other hand, I like biblical names and am still elated that I found a pair of maternity pants on sale for $20 at the Gap.
But the fact remains that Britney and I are experiencing the joys of new motherhood together -- and no one can take that away from us.
Speaking of new motherhood: I love Wal-Mart because you can find toothbrushes for $1, and I love Target because it's full of so many beautiful and (relatively) inexpensive things that I never even knew I needed.
But, lately, ShopKo is the big box store I have the warmest feelings about. It all stems from the "expectant mother" parking they have that is VERY close to the store.
Back in the days when I weighed 30 pounds less and could comfortably fit behind a steering wheel, I used to roll my eyes at the expectant-mother parking spots. But now that I'm trying to balance in high-heels while carrying what feels like a very heavy bowling ball under my skin, I'll take all the help I can get.
-- Elyssa Andrus
This story appeared in The Daily Herald on page B1 on April 20, 2005.

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