Tuesday, June 10, 2008

The Great Pumpkin Wants Your Candy Now!!!

Posted on 10/18/2005 at 10:51 PM
I love, love, love Halloween, mostly because I love, love, love candy. (Which I think is the reason I had to have six fillings last year alone, at age 27). And having a baby makes Halloween, oh, 10 times more exciting than normal. My son has orange hair, so it's only natural that he be a pumpkin for Halloween. I wanted to buy him a costume -- I don't sew -- but my sweet mom has insisted on "making" him one. Her pumpkin costume basically consists of an orange sack that she may or may not stuff with batting, which she plans to cut arm holes into. I'm not sure if you can make a costume out of a sack, but what do I know about these things? My biggest Halloween dilemma is this: How do I get the candy? I fully intend to take Joshua door to door, but he is only 3 months old. He doesn't have any teeth. He can't carry a sack. He can't say "trick-or-treat." The extent of his talents at this young age are limited to drooling and sucking on his fist. How, then, am I going to convince the nice people holding the candy to fork it over? My only hope is that people will be so distracted by the smiling, slobbering baby wearing a makeshift orange sack that they won't notice that I'm emptying out the candy bucket as fast as my spare hand can let me. And by the time they know what hit them, the Great Baby Pumpkin and I will be stealing off back into the night, a trail of candy wrappers and drool our only giveaway.

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