Caloric conundrum: It's hard to be skinny around the holidays, what with all the turkey and latkes and gingerbread houses everywhere you turn.
I've decided that no matter where you go, there is no escaping the siren call of inappropriate treats.
For example, the first thing I see every day when I go to the gym is a vending machine that sells candy bars.
These candy bars are, I would guess, about 250 calories each. This is the EXACT SAME AMOUNT of calories I burn in a given workout. (My exercise routine is as much about watching "Judging Amy" reruns on the TNT network as it is about running on the treadmill, but I digress.)
So, if, in a moment of weakness, I decided to eat one of those candy bars, my trek to the gym would be for nothing. I'd be at the same calorie total for the day had I just sat on the couch watching "Judging Amy" instead. Which is what I would rather do.
It takes some convoluted thinking, but one can almost justify not going to the gym based solely on the fact that it might also involve eating a candy bar -- and no one needs the extra sweets this time of year.
Another one of life's cruel ironies is that the delicious and decadent boutique Provo cake shop Channing's Bundt Cake Factory is located just doors away from a Jenny Craig weight loss center.
I always think that celebrity spokeswoman and former "Fat Actress" Kirstie Alley might just jump out of the poster hanging in Jenny Craig's window if she got a whiff of the lemon poppyseed bundt cake. Trust me, I've had it, and it's that good.
Which is exactly why it's hard to be skinny around the holidays. Or anytime else.
--Elyssa Andrus This story appeared in The Daily Herald on Nov. 29, 2006. See http://www.heraldextra.com/content/view/201449/149/
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